By Philip Etemesi via Mwalii
Guys guys guys…let me tell you something. If you’ve never dated a ‘momo’ or even contemplated doing so, you are missing out on a feeling so wonderful. A feeling that can only be compared to the one the Tuaregs of the Sahara desert used to get when they discovered an oasis.. We live in an era where slim chics are adored and glorified to the point of absurdity. Women are making gym owners rich just because they want to get perfect figures- a move which is not a necessity.

Not any man can date a plus size woman. You have to be a ‘lion’ kind of guy to effectively handle a big momma. A lion loves flesh and the bigger they come, the more the flesh you’ll have at your disposal.

Contrary to popular belief, a ‘momos’ aren’t fat women. They are just huge women with well-packed assets. They have the curves and they do come in all the thick flavors including cream, caramel, nutella, berry or dark chocolate

There are countless benefits of dating a plus size woman. I, personally have dated and interacted with several of them and I must say, I love their personalities as well as their unsung skills. This isn’t to say that you should ignore skinny women. All women are cool in their own ways but today I am am activist for ’momos’ .

They are ‘Bedroom Mburis’

Chubby ladies give you an epic experience in bed. By the time you are done, you feel like John Cena after a two hour wrestling match with The Big Show. You feel like you deserve a medal. It feels like a medieval adventure in which you are a warrior in a battle field fighting Roman soldiers. Many Kenyan men will agree that they are awed by the sight of a clotheless voluptuous mamacita rather than Miss Bones. ‘Momos’ can serve up everything you want better than KFC, from breasts to thighs. Everything comes in great quantity. They are also more fun to cuddle and caress. The warmth they generate is like that of a thousand dollar Louis Vuitton duvet.

You need to have the stamina though. Lifting and turning such women requires real effort and energy. That’s why you have to be a lion. But don’t worry if you are just a cub. You can still train yourself to be a lion. Get yourself a ‘momo’ and start practicing.

Food in plenty

‘Momos’ don’t have the skinny chic B.S of going without lunch and supper in the name of slimming. It’s a proven fact that women with more flesh have a great passion for delicacies. They like talking about food, cooking, frying, baking, eating or dining. A man loves taking a woman out knowing she will order exactly what she wants and will finish her food. Not wasting money or food! I’m sure many guys have gone through the agony of buying an expensive meal for a chic and she ends up eating two spoons only. Then she hist you with that annoyimg statement that goes, “Woiyee..aki nimeshiba babe.”

Momos are less concerned about appearance

Chubby women tend to put in more effort on their personalities rather than their physical beauty. A big momma relies on her wit, personality, and character to keep you interested outside the bedroom since she’s aware you might start staring at the ndogo ndogos.

On the other hand, dating a plus size woman improves your appearance as a man. You will be required to work out and strengthen your body to handle your business in the bedroom. The concert exercises greatly improve your body shape.

Everyone Loves ‘Them’ Curves

Up to the 1900s, thick women were the pin ups and objects of séxual desire among noblemen because nature dictated that the fuller the female’s figure, the more fertile she was; and the more likely she was to produce quality off-springs. Width was highly valued.

Today, many women have succumbed to the pressures of the social norm that slim is synonymous with attractive. This not entirely the case. We men cannot help but love ‘them’ curves and thick zones because it is in our nature! SO pave way for big momma. Ro0ll out the red carpet. MOMO WINS!

The post WHY You Should Date A Momo (Huge Woman) appeared first on Kenya Today.

By Njoki Chege

The last one week, I reconnected with two male friends I had not seen for ages. The lingering question was ‘So are you dating?” Or ‘Iko kajamaa kamekufurahisha?” (Is there a young man that has impressed you?).

I am not dating anyone right now, I tell them as I hastily move on to the next topic before they demand answers.

Even my mother, who for as long as I can remember always told me how ‘boys are bad’, is now asking if I am bringing a ‘friend’ this Christmas. Sorry mom, I will be flying solo this Christmas, and the next one too.

I sigh every time a well-meaning person asks me why I am not dating. Mostly, the answers I give skirt around ‘I am too busy with work and school,” or ‘Jesus is the only man in my life’. Okay, maybe the second answer is a lie, there are quite a number of them but that is not the story here. The real answer, ladies and gentlemen, is because there is simply no men my age to date.

GUYS I SHOULD DATE

I am a few weeks shy of 25 years, which means that the guys I should date should be aged around 28-30 years. Maybe 33 years if I am to stretch it.

But the unfortunate thing I have come to realise is that the young men I am supposed to date are far from being men. They are boys. Tall boys with blue Subaru Imprezzas who drink cheap liquor on weekday nights and show up to their workplaces the next morning hangovered, smelling like a brewery.

Now, I lead quite a busy life. Actually, my life is busier than a brothel in a sailor town. (Hahaha, wrong example).

I am either at work or at school or sleeping off the fatigue on weekends. My nights are late, either working or studying. Or maybe binge watching episodes of Scandal and Covert Affairs. This means I am a rare woman to pin down. Which also means that I give you an hour of my time from my busy schedule, then you must have really impressed me.

I am not wasting any more time with this i-Phone wielding 29-year-old jamaaz whose only goal in life is to catch a few drinks at that goddamn strip club on Baricho Road that has very few millionaires.

I cannot have a coherent, meaningful conversation with these young Instagram braggats who feel the need to take photos of every bottle of cheap lager they imbibe. I am way beyond them and their intelligence levels are nowhere near half of mine. We are on different wavelengths.

BROKE MAN

Who has time for a man whose idea of fun is Masaku sevens and “NaxVegas’. Not me! How, pray do tell, do I get into a relationship with a young man whose only achievement is that cut-rate Toyota Mark X whose car loan he is struggling to pay? Are you telling me that I will stoop so low as to be with a man who gets broke on the fifteenth of every month and his is the only mouth that he feeds? How is he supposed to take care of a family?

I am sick and tired of going out with these young men who drink themselves silly, mixing low-end lagers and counterfeit whiskey only to black out on me. I am a highly respectable woman in this society, not your mother.

A lot of girls my age would be impressed by a jamaa who buys them shots of fake tequila on Electric Avenue and take them for Masaku sevens on weekends, but not me. First, I don’t drink alcohol and secondly, I don’t do cheap gigs. So try harder, young fella, it takes more than liquor, lines and lies to impress me.

Because I cannot stand these little boys who hate on strong-opinionated women like me on Twitter from the discomfort of their poorly finished one bedroom apartments in Kinoo, Roysambu and South B, I go for the refined older men who add value to that precious one hour off my busy schedule.

Who wants to chat on WhatsApp with a guy juggling his limited data bundles between Instagram, Twitter and chatting four other girls on WhatsApp, Viber and Skype?

REFINED MEN

The refined men, on the other hand, are a slice of heaven. They are critical thinkers. They are gentlemen of chivalry. They are experienced. They are well groomed. They have class. They can manage their alcohol. They are independent. They are not like these little 29-year-old sexually frustrated emotional leeches I avoid.

They don’t brag and they drive cars worth Sh3 million. You drive a Subaru Imprezza worth Sh850,000 and I won’t hear the last of it. Some of these older men are not even on Twitter. Unfortunately, all the gentlemen that tickle my fancy are all married! Nothing could be more heartbreaking than this.

Every night, I ask the Lord, why, oh Lord why, are all the good men in this world married? Why are all the Instagram Braggats and Twitter Idiots still alive?

I am yet to meet my ideal kind of man. Not that I have a list. Okay, maybe I need him to be no shorter than six foot two inches, no younger than 34 years, can manage his alcohol and those who are financially blessed are encouraged to apply.

If we can have an intelligent conversation, even better. Are you the man for me?

The post Njoki Chege: WHY I’m not DATING and won’t get MARRIED soon appeared first on Kenya Today.

As Director of Clandestine Activities or DCA, my task is to give advice on Best Clandestine Practices or BCP when dealing with married boyfriends.

Before the festive season, I gave a BCP course on ‘A holiday guide for clandes and side chicks’.

I am happy to report that we received zero complaints of broken marriages. We’ve also not heard any reports of clandes found injured or their cars vandalised. No one has been threatened by a Kili-Money mom.

Now, the Clandes Support Group in partnership with the DCA’s office is happy to present the ‘Kenya Ultimate Married Man’s Clandestine Guide”.

1.Thou shall not take your clande where you have been with your wife: The reason is to avoid embarrassment. You take your clande to hotel X in January and your wife to the same place in February. A waiter walks to your table and says “Ala, huyu sio ule tulikuwa na yeye last time? Karibu sana mama (Isn’t she the one who was here last time? Welcome mum)”

2. Thou shall agree to share your clande: Married men are like politicians; selfish liars who want you to share them but won’t let you share. Clandes say the men get jealous when they don’t answer calls on weekends yet this is the time clandes are out fishing for potential stable men. Clandes won’t tell you they are visiting boyfriends. They will guise it under the veil of “I am going to see my mother” or “I am taking my car for service”. Don’t ask what ‘service’ unless you want to break your married heart.

3.Thou shall protect your clande: Save her number under a pseudo like ‘Jack Bauer’, ‘Raymond Reddington’, ‘Governor’ or ‘Uhuru’s PA’ (for married journalists). When she sends you selfies and nudes, do not save them in the usual gallery. Download a free application on Google store known as ‘Vault’. It allows you to lock those pictures under a password. Vault even hides incoming SMSs, Facebook messages and call records. It can also hide your WhatsApp and Skype. Delete WhatsApp chats by the hour and please, do not take selfies with clandes!

4.Thou shall keep your friends on a leash: Every man shows off his clande to his boys. There are few uncultured boys who wink at your clande when you leave for the bathroom. In the spirit of togetherness, some clandes will exchange numbers with them. Tell the boys your clande has no sisters or cousins she can introduce them to.

5.Thou shall not make surprise visits to her: If you want to visit, ask and pass by the supermarket for ice-cream. Your married heart is too weak to handle what you might see if you pop in unannounced. Never bribe the watchman to ask if your clande gets male visitors.

6. Thou shall have one clande at a time: Diseases are many out there. Respect yourself and keep one clande at a time. When they realise you’ve been playing them, God knows what will happen. Hell hath no fury like a bunch of clandes scorned!

Adapted from Nairobi News

The post HERE are the SIX Basic COMMANDMENTS for men in EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIR appeared first on Kenya Today.

It is said everybody got a story to tell, and some could be writing their stories now others enduring that harsh stage in life. It’s life! Mike Sonko is no different. He has a past that he only understands best because he lived it! They say a picture speaks thousands of words, hmm YES this indeed talks

Mike Sonko burst into the national scene after being elected Makadara MP on a NARC Kenya ticket a few years back, he quickly to established his name among the Nairobi lower end population and thus striking super popularity that send the tough Fred Gumo to retirement, oh Yes Hon Gumo was to be ODM senate candidate for Nairobi in the 2013 general election, he instead announced his resignation! Sonko garnered more votes than some ass presidential candidates except for Raila Odinga and President Kenyatta.

He understands how Kenyans think. Over valentines he shared a photo of himself and his wife from them days, click on it for a maximum view>>

The post HERE is a PICTURE of senator Mike Sonko, a young sorry HUSTLER with valid dreams appeared first on Kenya Today.

Hollywood is in shock after a thief returned the ‘expensive’ dress of Kenyan-Mexican actress Lupita Nyong’o – daughter to ODM politician Prof. Peter Anyang’ Nyong’o – because it was worthless.

Here’s THE #PearlDress pic.twitter.com/Xc0EEKLq8r

— Gisela Margarita (@ABC7Gisela) February 28, 2015

The thief, after returning the dress, called TMZ – Hollywood’s leading entertainment and gossip news website – to register their displeasure at the plasticity of Hollywood – a world where everything is silicon valley – or, compared locally, everything is ‘River Road’ – cheap, worthless and fake. The thief said he and his partners returned the dress so that the world can see  “Hollywood’s fake bullshit.”

Close up shot of #PearlDress that resembles Lupita Nyong’o’s stolen Oscar gown. Are the pearls real or fake? pic.twitter.com/AoFMMCzCin — Gisela Margarita (@ABC7Gisela) February 28, 2015

This however happened after Kenyans took their financial takeaways from the dress – with some saying ist cost -sh 12 million – is enough to buy lunch for a Nairobi hustler for 240 years if he/she sticks to sh 150 a meal.

Some, mindful of education, said Lupita’s dress is enough to sponsor 8000 students through a four year undergraduate programme without the need for HELB. Those in the health sector said that money -sh 12 million – is the amount Gov. Isaac Rutto set aside for Longisa Dispensary in Bomet county in the last financial year.

The post Lupita Nyong’o Sh12 million dress allegedly FAKE like Vera Sidika’s endless thighs appeared first on Kenya Today.

Oliver Mathenge, the Political Affairs reporter with the Star Newspaper – the third largest print mainstream  press in Kenya – is expected to say ‘I (will) do’ as he weds his long-term (sources say primary school) girlfriend Njeri Wamarite.

The location of the event is unknown to this writer just like the invited guests which includes writers, editors, bloggers, PNU-TNA-JAP politicians, friends and relatives.

Mathenge, who is believed to have on his head a sealed ICC arrest warrant for leaking sensitive prosecution information relating to the ‘withdrawn’ case against President Uhuru Kenyatta, is said to have forgotten to invite everyone to his wedding, with his classmates planning to gate crash the event happening – allegedly – in some luxurious hotel in the Naivasha tourism ring.

While Mathenge describes himself – here – as just an ordinary guy next, he is no ordinary, as credible sources have it that he is among the few journalists who have direct access to President Uhuru in the ‘a phone call away’  kind of social relationship.

This is earned, as Mathenge has been consistent gatekeeper of Uhuru regime, using his platform with the Star to spin positively the escapades of a regime always at the brink of collapse (in what columnist David Ndii has effusively referred to as the ‘phenomenon of mediocrity‘).

Sources indicate President Uhuru is expected to attend.

The post President Uhuru to attend Star Reporter Oliver Mathenge’s WEDDING to lovely QUAIL Njeri Wamarite appeared first on Kenya Today.

Types Of Ladies Who Are Likely To Sle3p With Any Man

With female infidelity now at an all time high, more and more men who are married, or in committed relationships are asking themselves this question about their spouse of significant other. Below are 10 categories of women who are more likely to cheat on their spouse.

1. She has lots of close male friends “A significant number of affairs begin as close friendships with members of the opposite s3x. The relationship may be platonic at the beginning, but chances are, it won’t stay that way. The closer the woman is to her platonic male friend, the more likely it is that he will eventually end up becoming her lover unless he’s gay.

2. She has girlfriends who are cheating on their mates. Never underestimate the power of peer pressure. Adults are susceptible to it, too. If a woman has one or more close female friends who are cheating on their husbands or boyfriends, she may eventually start cheating, too.

3. She has an excessive need for attention. A woman who constantly craves attention may cheat on her mate if she feels she’s not getting enough attention from him. She will be easy prey for any man who showers with her the attention she feels she deserves.

4. She’s materialistic. A materialistic woman is likely to have an affair with a wealthy man because of the material things he can provide. She can easily be seduced with jewelry, designer clothes, lavish vacations, or the cash to buy these and other expensive things.

5. She views s3x as a statement of her femininity. Her identity as a woman is tied to how many men she sle3ps with. Seducing men to sle3p with her is the focal point of her life. With this mental attitude, it’s hard for her to stay faithful to just one man

6. Shes a thrill seeker or a risk taker. If shes the type who likes to live dangerously, shell cheat just for the thrill of it, or for the excitement of doing something forbidden, or for the challenge of seeing if she can pull it off without getting caught. She views infidelity as other people would view a high-risk sport.

7. Shes easily bored. A woman who is easily bored, or who leads a dull, routine life may cheat on her mate just to alleviate her boredom or add some excitement to her life.

8. She has been cheated on by her mate. If a woman’s husband or boyfriend has cheated on her, she may try to even the score by cheating on him in return. Many women who have been victims of infidelity will indulge in retaliatory cheating or have revenge affairs.

9. She likes being the center of attention. If a woman thrives on being the center of attention at all times, she is s3xually vulnerable to any man who fawns over her, or makes her feel like she’s #1

10. She’s addicted to alcohol or drugs. Women who are substance abusers are much more likely to end up cheating on their mates. Female alcoholics are susceptible to infidelity because their inhibitions will be lowered and their judgment impaired. Female drug addicts may sell their bodies for drugs. Either type of woman is likely to cheat

The post TEN TYPES of LADIES Likely to sleep with any man any time appeared first on Kenya Today.

By Comrade Albert Nyakundi Amenya

A jealous husband has meted out a capital punishment on his alleged cheating wife by stuffing pepper inside the woman’s ‘junction’ in a fit of rage.
The bloke was thereafter arrested and charged before a magistrate court on a two counts of domestic violence which he made a plea of innocence to.
The 36 year old father of, Mike Njenga, from Ngarariga village, Kiambu County received a nine year old jail term by a Kiambu resident magistrate,
Augostino Nyaunyo.

The appalled magistrate confessed that the case was among the ‘most barbaric domestic violence’ he has ever handled, adding that the verdict would serve as a deterrent to other people who intend to indulge in such a dastardly act.

Nyaunyo said, “The courts are worried by the escalation of domestic violence cases in Kiambu County and we feel it’s high time we send a message to the accused person and his ilk that harming or ill treating one’s wife will not be tolerated by the courts.”

During the hearing of the case, in court on Friday, March 7, 2015 prosecutor Kazungu Charo disclosed that the defendant had a scuffle with his wife on her alleged infidelity sometime in January this year.

He said, “After hurling harsh words and insulting each other, the man lost his temper and picked up a log which he used to assault her over the body.”
He reportedly battered his wife mercilessly on the fateful day leaving her with deadly injuries which left her confined to her bed for about two weeks.
Instead of feeling remorseful of his deed, Njenga proceeded to the hospital where his wife was on admission and subsequently stuffed a considerable amount of pepper inside the woman’s junction.

The man took advantage of her condition as she could not runaway, took pepper and stuffed it in her private parts.
While pleading for leniency, Njenga urged the court to tamper justice with mercy being that he had no money and managed to feed by doing some menial jobs and begged the court to be lenient with him.

Doctors who ran a test on the victim confirmed that her bearded meat was actually filled with hot pepper.

The post SHOCKING: Jealous Kiambu man STUFFS hot red PEPPER inside CHEATING WIFE’s Private parts appeared first on Kenya Today.

A man was arrested for masquerading as a barmaid and robbing clients in Siaya county on Monday night.

Michael Obiero, 30, was arrested after a patron became suspicious of his physique and raised the alarm.

He had worked at the bar for two days and identified himself as Brenda, the patron said.

Obiero had reportedly been sharing a hotel room with two barmaids at Usenge market.

He could not conceal his identity after the arrest as police required him to strip for an inspection.

He explained that he is transgender.

Bondo Deputy County Commissioner Samson Akatch said the matter was under investigation.

Akatch said the owner of the bar would be summoned to explain failure to vet all employees.

He said all administrators in the area had been asked to vet people including tenants, fishermen, wife inheritors and motorcycle operators.

-The Star

The post SHOCKING: Siaya man Masquerading as ‘BARMAID’ named ‘Brenda’ ARRESTED appeared first on Kenya Today.

Kim Kardashian’s doctor has warned her she is having too much sex.

The Keeping Up with the Kardashians star and husband Kanye West have been sleeping together up to 15 times a day in a bid for her to get pregnant again

But Kim told E! News that the couple, who are already parents to 20-month-old North, been advised to cut down by specialists.

The post Doctors WARN Kim Kardashian AGAINST having TOO MUCH SEX appeared first on Kenya Today.

An MP from Mt. Kenya last night beat up his wife and undressed her after finding her in a pub. It is not yet known what angered the legislator.

Feminist organisations are expected to pick up the story and pressure for stern action against the MP. Mt Kenya region especially parts of Nyeri and Muranga have dominated with news of wife battering husbands and also cases where husbands have been reported to wasted in illicit brews.

More to follow>>>

>>>>More details

The post TNA Elected MP from Mt Kenya BEAT and UNDRESSED his WIFE in a Pub appeared first on Kenya Today.

Socialite Verah Sidika may be a prostitute after all.

A private investigator minted information from the ‘model’ after she agreed to four days of protected sex in a six-day paid trip to Dubai that would seen her return to Nairobi a millionaire. She demanded sh 1. 3 million for the services she would offer.

The man, posing as a Dubai business mogul, asked Sidika out for a lavish week in Dubai after informing her that his family would be out for holidays in Abu Dhabi.

Falling for the allure of quick money, Sidika then went ahead to stupidly provide all her personal details, including emails, phone contacts, bank account details etc.

Sidika, who informed her would be ‘fucker’ that she has a boyfriend, then shamelessly went ahead to urge the guy to ‘relax’ as the man is not aware.

Follow the full story here: CLICK LINK

The post BADLY EXPOSED: Verah Sidika’s Sh1.3 million ONE WEEK SEX TOUR in Dubai appeared first on Kenya Today.

Jesus lookalike Brings Kambu Town to A Stand still – As Residents Confess All Types of Evils

By Alberto Nyakundi

Kiambu town was recently brought to a near standstill after a Jesus lookalike appeared in the streets out of nowhere and was instantly mobbed by adoring Faithful who wanted to touch him.

Complete with blue eyes, brunette hair and wearing a cassock, Antonio Boretti an Italian actor fitted the perfect image as portrayed by Christendom. Apparently he was in the country to shoot a film in which he was playing the role of Jesus Christ, hence why he was dressed to play the part. ‘Jesus’ decided to make an impromptu visit to Kambu after hearing a lot about the area’s reputation in thuggery and how it manufactures all types of criminals including chicken rapists.

“I have read a lot about Kambu, I have heard people say that it is the only place in the world with the highest number of thugs per square kilometer and I said since I am in the country, seeing is believing, let me go and see for myself these people who have the audacity to rape even hens and donkeys, killing them instantly” said ‘Jesus’ of Italy.

However, Kambu residents who thought it was a miracle, reached out to touch him, probably in the hope that like the biblical Jesus, he would take all their sins away. Sinners started to repent, revealing all sorts of atrocities they had committed. Others brought him gifts like goats, hens with the hope of seeking favor in the eyes of his father.

After unknowingly washing all sorts of dirty linen in public, residents were disappointed that the man they were dealing with was not Jesus of Nazareth. Mesmerizingly, ‘Jesus’ realized that both his socks and a golden chain were missing. He hurriedly left and vowed never to go back to Kambu.

The post JESUS Brings Kambu Town to A Stand still – As Residents Confess All Types of Evils appeared first on Kenya Today.

Police in Nairobi are investigating an MP following allegations of rape filed by a former female journalist at Parklands Police Station in Nairobi.

The married woman, who is currently undergoing treatment at a hospital in Nairobi, claims that she was lured to the office Imenti Central MP Gideon Mwiti ostensibly to discuss a business deal.

But the MP allegedly turned the tables on her after a forced HIV/Aids test, assaulted her and when she reported the matter to her husband, he too was threatened.

The woman who runs a private public relations company claims the MP had called her to his office in Westlands, Nairobi, on Saturday night for a business deal when the incident happened.

She is admitted at the Nairobi Women’s Hospital in Hurlingham where doctors said they had stabilised her. The victim claimed the MP was accompanied by a doctor who claimed he works at a private clinic in Ngara area when they forcibly took her blood samples for testing before the alleged sexual assault happened.

After taking the blood samples, the doctor allegedly took them for testing and came back and informed the MP she was HIV-negative.

Contacted by The Standard, the MP initially said he had not met the woman but he later confirmed he met her earlier on Saturday between 5pm and 7pm at a bar near his private office in Westlands, Nairobi.

“I did not do the things you are saying and no police officer has called me. I know her and I also know the husband. We met yesterday (Saturday) before 7pm before I went to Njugunas for a meeting with my constituents,” said Mr Mwiti.

“She is doing my public relations project, but that is not done at night. Yes I know her very well. I have met her before. I am giving her the contract and she is to give me a quotation, but not at night,” he added.

But the woman said she was attacked and raped in his office. Her report is filed at Parklands Police Station in the occurrence book as OB 12/22/3/2015.

Yesterday, police said they had talked to the woman and were looking for the MP for questioning.

The officers who visited the hospital took blood samples from her, which they will use to compare with those taken from the MP when they finally get him.

Mwiti said: “I am 100 per cent ready to be examined, even now. If I am contacted, I will present myself.”

The woman’s husband, who had earlier on tried to look for her when she sent a text saying the MP wanted sex by force, first recorded the statement at Parklands Police Station. It was then that police proceeded to the hospital for the victim’s statements.

The man, who is a property valuer in Nairobi, said the incident happened at 10pm when the MP called his wife for a meeting at his office.

“She was to meet him earlier but the MP kept postponing the meeting until 10pm and he said the documents needed to be signed on that day,” he said.

He added it was at that meeting that Mwiti asked for sexual favours from his wife and when she refused, he subjected her to an involuntary HIV test, which was carried out by a doctor in his office before he physically abused and raped her.

According to the man, his wife managed to get into a toilet inside the office and called him before she was sexually abused.

“She called me and told me the MP wanted to rape her. She also followed the call with several text messages asking to me go and pick her,” he said.

The text messages show between 11pm and 11:31pm, the woman texted her husband to go for her at the MP’s office opposite Bandari Plaza in Westlands.

“The MP you introduced me to asked me to meet him. He asked for sex and when I refused he beat me up. I’m in Westlands please come,” reads one of the messages.

When the husband asked where exactly she was, she wrote: “Opposite Bandari Plaza. He wants to rape me and my phone will go off.”

The man said according to his wife, the MP broke the toilet door and forced her back to the office where he continued beating her before carrying out the heinous act without protection.

The MP released her at 1:30 am. By then, her mobile phone had run out of power. She arrived at her Kileleshwa home and called her husband who was then looking for her in the MP’s office in vain.

“The MP has another office opposite the one that I have all along known, where the incident happened. I had been looking for them in the office I knew, without knowing they were in Bandari Plaza,” said the man.

“I picked her from our home in Kileleshwa and took her the hospital,” said the man, confirming that the medical report shows that his wife was raped and that she has physical bruises from being beaten.

The man said the action shocked him given that he had known the MP for some time and that he was someone he could trust.

He claimed Mwiti had tried to call him several times asking to meet and resolve the matter and when he refused he was threatened.

“He told me to pursue this matter at my own risk,” he said.

The said the doctor who works in Nairobi’s Ngara told The Standard he could neither confirm nor deny meeting the two on Saturday.

“You are stranger and I don’t know who you are. I can neither confirm nor deny what you are saying. Come to my office here in Ngara,” said the doctor.

STANDARD NEWS

The post PATHETIC: Imenti Central MP Hon Mwiti RAPED former Citizen TV Journalist in his office appeared first on Kenya Today.

By NAIROBI NEWS REPORTER
1. He was born on December 6, 1960; he’s 55.

2. He is nicknamed “Livondo” by his supporters because of his flashy lifestyle similar to that of flamboyant Nairobi politician Stanley Livondo.

3. He is a director and shareholder of the Kenya Akiba Micro Finance Ltd, which was closed in 2005 at the height of the pyramid schemes crisis.

4. In May 2012, a judge ordered the Central Bank of Kenya (CBK) to pay his company Kenya Akiba Micro Finance Ltd close to Sh1 billion after the court decided that the regulator acted arbitrary in closing down the business in 2005.

5. In 2013, Mwiti was charged with inducing by deceit and trickery 12 investors to put money in the Kenya Business Community Sacco that went down with Sh780 million in 2008 following a government purge on illegal banking institutions. He was acquitted in the same year with the judge accusing investigators of leaving loose ends in their probe.

6. Lest you forgot, 20 people are said to have killed themselves after being ruined by pyramid schemes. Thousands other investors were also left destitute in the devious schemes that cumulatively cost majority poor Kenyans Sh34 billion.7. Mwiti is not a TNA MP; he successfully vied for the Imenti Central parliamentary seat on an Aliiance Party of Kenya (APK) ticket, the ‘bus’ party headed by Meru Senator Kiraitu Murungi.

8. In November 2007, Mwiti, through his company Touchstone Developers Ltd, advanced to Igembe South MP Mithika Linturi a loan of Sh12.6 million to conduct his campaigns. In 2011, Linturi paid a lump sum of Sh14 million after Mwiti moved to court seeking to attach his property.

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The post TEN THINGS to know about Hon Mwiti, who allegedly RAPED ex Citizen TV Reporter appeared first on Kenya Today.

Hollywood actress Lupita Nyong’o is in neighbouring Uganda to shoot a movie – ‘Queen of Katwe’ – which chronicles the life of Uganda’s chess star Phiona Mutesi.

After happening upon chess as a famished nine-year-old, Phiona, now 18, quickly developed a talent for the game and became a national champion, going on to participate in international Olympiads and becoming a Woman Candidate Master (WCM).

Nyong’o is portraying Phiona’s mother, Harriet Mutesi, in the highest profile film project to come to Uganda since the 2006 movie “The Last King of Scotland” about Ugandan dictator Idi Amin, which garnered an Oscar for Forest Whitaker in the title role.

The film is being directed by Indian Film maker Mira Nair.

Read Full story on Daily Nation.

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As the only man in the world to lift four times his own body weight, Anton Kraft is pound-for-pound the strongest man in the world.

The 4’4′ dwarf, who resides in Florida, has lifted as much as 36 stone.

With women, he is no less ambitious.

Kraft , 52, only dates women who are more than a foot taller than he is. For the past six months he has been dating 6’3′ China Bell.

Bell, 43, who was born male and has since transitioned, admits she was unsure when he first asked her out but was quickly bowled over by his weightlifting skills.

Read more here

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Your wife or significant other is constantly on their phone lately? Have you been wondering what they are glued onto? Well, we have dug deep and unearthed the secret. There is a new Facebook group which has suddenly become more popular than any other group. The name of the group is Vuteni Stul Niwape Udaku.

Our undercover reporter has informed us that there are already thousands of women in the group and all they do all day is tell stories of their experiences. They tell stories of their experiences as MWK, otherwise known as Mwanaume Wa Kando. They talk about their lesbian experiences, some of the women are trying the emerging culture now and some tried it in the past but have gone back to being straight. It appears to be a free for all topics with no restrictions.

Erotica and stories about the male member which they refer to as mtree is a major pastime in the group. We did have a chance of going through the members list and it does not just comprise of ordinary women. We were quite shocked to see prominent women in the group, but I suppose every woman has a little bit of the gossip in them.

They gossip about their husbands and partners and how to treat them to get the most out of them. They talk about how to recover from betrayals. In the evenings, the topic of choice seems to be erotica. If you have noticed a change in your partner, them demanding for more sexual activity, do not be alarmed. It is probably the result of reading too much erotica in the group.

Stories of all types seem to be encouraged in the group and there are a variety of writers in the group. The group’s chief admin is the talented writer, Julie who now goes by the pen name of Atieno Mtoto Mzuri under which she has written a super gripping book, No More Tears, in which she tells the story of an illegal immigrant to America who undergoes a lot of ordeals before she finally settles down.

We happened to catch a few chapters of the book and we predict it shall be one of those books that you read and never forget. As said earlier, if your wife or significant other is constantly on the phone, then she may be this new craze in town Vuteni Stul Niwape Udaku.

You might consider warning your wife or significant other from joining the group because she might change overnight by learning too much from the other women.

We want our women gentle and docile and Vuteni Stul Niwape Udaku is doing the exact opposite. The photos attached are some of the topics discussed in the group.

The post Is your WIFE, Girlfriend, MWK CONSTANTLY on Phone lately? HERE is WHERE she is GLUED appeared first on Kenya Today.

Women across Iceland took a powerful stand on social media last week by posting pictures of their breasts, using the #FreeTheNipple campaign to reclaim control of their bodies.

The movement, which aims to desexualize women’s breasts by posting ordinary pictures of exposed nipples on social media, has been around for almost a year. But it gained national momentum last week after a 17-year-old, Adda Þóreyjardóttir Smáradóttir, received vicious backlash for posting a picture of her breasts.

Her photograph was in direct response to a picture one of her male friends posted of himself without a shirt. The Independent translated her Icelandic Facebook post: “It was difficult and I had to delete the picture for a few minutes, but it was enough to start a revolution.”

Rather than being greeted with enthusiasm, Smáradóttir received misogynistic threats. Outraged feminists, male and female alike, came to her defense by posting pictures of their nipples.

As reported by the Telegraph, the #FreeTheNipple campaign was inspired by a film of the same name, which exposes the double standard of outlawing women’s unconcealed breasts in New York City while no such law applies to men.

According to the movie’s official website, “The film explores the contradictions in our media-dominated society, where acts of violence and killing are glorified, while images of a woman’s body are censored by the [Federal Communications Commission] and the [Motion Picture Association of America]. What is more obscene: violence or a nipple?”

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A top statehouse operative has leaked the parking plan for the upcoming Obama homecoming in Kogelo. The draft sketch that is yet to be endorsed by the White-house identifies five categories of traffic and respective instructions as follow:

1. Probox and the likes parking reserved at Kericho Primary.

2. All pick ups and Japanese SUVs will only be allowed up to Ahero shopping Centre;

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